“Love doesn’t always come easy and you have to work on things…”
Relationship Status: Dating for three years
What is love?
K: Love to me is when you think about someone and care for them effortlessly. And when you know you love them you can’t help but think about the future, because once you meet them you couldn’t imagine them not being a part of your life.
M: I would say, love for me personally can be shown multiple ways. For me in regards to a relationship, it’s about a giving and receiving. I like to show my love whether that be providing for Kaitlyn physically, emotionally — like, listening to how her day went; spiritually — like taking her to church; and financially. Or even asking about the often overlooked things like: Did you eat? Wear a sweater this morning it’s going to be cold. Honestly it’s just showing you care. I think also for me, the saying actions speak louder than words definitely applies to that question of “what is love?”
How did you know you loved each other?
M: It was a different feeling of calmness. Kaitlyn’s different. She definitely keeps me grounded. That’s one of the big things that the other girlfriends couldn’t do. She literally keeps me grounded. When people say they know that’s the one, I got that feeling. During one of our first few dates, I had a few drinks and then I just had the feeling in me to tell people “I’m marrying this girl.”
K: I think I knew definitely within the first week, probably the day of the Christmas tree lighting. I had the feels early on, I knew I could definitely marry this guy. I never met anyone like him before. I think I told him within the first couple days, “You are goals, you are my dream guy all rolled into one. Looks wise, personality type, like everything too.” It’s challenging sometimes but it’s worth it. It’s just a really good balance and he does make me more productive.
M: Well my goal, every single day, in our relationship, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t made her laugh.
K: It’s true.
M: I make her laugh every single day. I don’t make the effort to, where I have to try hard…
K: Sometimes it’s a dad joke I shake my head at, but sometimes it’s a genuine joke where I’m like “Yeah you’re funny.”
What was your perception of love growing up?
K: I don’t know if I had one to be honest. I watched Disney, but I never felt like “Oh, I need that” or “Oh that’s gonna happen to me.” I don’t not believe it. I do believe it’s something cute to believe in. But if you find something that makes you feel that way then that’s great!
M: At the beginning it’s a bit of a fairytale, but what’s made us stick together is because there’s been a lot of ups and downs in relationships and we’ve been through that with each other. For me my education was a big part of it: a lot of breakdowns, a lot of big headaches. So for me, maybe Disney, but similar, or kind of how rom coms and romantic movies are meant to be. Those feel more relatable.
Has that changed dating each other?
K: Oh for sure, like a little bit! The first year is romance non-stop. After that you still have romantic times, but we’re best friends now. It’s not like, “Oh this is the guy I’m dating, it’s this is my best friend and my soon-to-be hubby.” So it’s not just we’re dating, romance non-stop so I don’t lose him.
M: It is still romantic though.
Do you think relationships are a lot of work?
M & K: Oh for sure!
K: You make sacrifices for sure. We sacrifice evenly. When one person wants to do something, the other person doesn’t necessarily want to, but the other person will do it anyway. For example thrifting: there are some days I don’t want to go thrifting, but I know he wants to so I do it anyway.
Love is…? Fill in the blank with one word or two.
M: Love is patient. I think that’s an accurate one for me. Love doesn’t always come easy and you have to work on things, and Kaitlyn and I have experienced things too.
K: Love is trust — trust is a huge one. I know that sounds lame, but if you don’t have trust what do you have?